In my last post I took a look at the general theme of the relationship between the person and teaching of Jesus and the Law of Moses.   In this post I want to focus in on the specific issue of marriage and divorce, which clearly shows how Jesus both upholds  the moral law of Moses and also goes well beyond the law into new territory.  This post will be a bit longer than most, so be forewarned – but if you persevere to the end I trust you’ll find it worth the effort 🙂

I chose this theme for a reason.  In this blog I want to stick to Bible study, but also want to focus on topics that are clearly relevant to the most pressing needs of the people of God in the age in which we live.   I can’t think of a more crucial topic than that of marriage and divorce.  We live in a time when divorce has become increasingly common, not only among people of the world, but among those who profess to follow Christ, and even among spiritual leaders.   In such a climate it is all too easy to make the mistake of compromising on fundamental principles in the name of compassion.   When we take a casual attitude to sexual faithfulness in the name of grace and mercy, we betray the next generation by our unfaithfulness, forcing them to grow up in an atmosphere of instability and uncertainty, with no-one to model for them the love and faithfulness of a covenant-keeping God.  If they can’t trust their own parents to keep faith, who can they trust?  So when we say that the righteous requirements of the law are no longer relevant in an age of grace, we grieve the heart of a merciful God who has designed covenant faithfulness in marriage as an expression of his goodness.

Looking at the progression of Scriptural teaching on the specific issue of divorce, we can see that while the law of Moses allows divorce under certain circumstances, the prophet Malachi stated that God hates divorce because it violates his character as a covenant-keeping God.  Jesus made it crystal clear that from the beginning, divorce was never part of God’s intent.   He insisted that Moses’ teaching on divorce was a concession to human weakness, and said that in God’s eyes anyone who divorces a faithful marriage partner has committed adultery.   Responding to his disciples’ dismay at this challenging teaching, Jesus made it clear that covenant marriage is a high calling, a gift from God, and that it is not possible to keep this teaching by one’s own ability.   Taking things even deeper, Jesus also made it clear that God’s intent for covenant marriage goes well beyond physical faithfulness – His desire is to create in us a level of purity that will root out even adulterous thoughts.  This is more than law – it is applied grace, producing the fruit of holiness which can only spring from a transformed, renewed heart and mind.

But what about cohabitation or sex before marriage?  Does the Bible have anything to say about that?  Marriage practices differ widely in different ages and cultures.  The Scriptural view of marriage is not based primarily on whether you have gone through a particular form of marriage ceremony, but on whether you have entered a one-flesh relationship.   For that reason, breaking faith with a partner with whom you are having sexual relations is the same as divorce from God’s perspective, even if you are not legally married.  There is an implied marriage covenant in the decision to enter a one-flesh relationship.  I’m not saying that cohabitation is just as good as marriage, because the act of making an explicit, public covenant is very significant.  I’m simply saying that there is actually no such thing as casual sex.   Choosing to become one flesh (I’m not talking about rape here, but about a freely chosen relationship) involves you in covenant responsibilities before God whether you realize it or not.

It’s not uncommon nowadays for people to express the view that Jesus probably engaged in sex since he was a very intimate guy.  This is actually a fairly common point of view which has been promoted by books and movies such as the Da Vinci Code.  Some go further, arguing that this would have been acceptable for Jesus since he never married and the New Testament (according to this view) does not specifically prohibit sex before marriage.   Such assertions show almost complete ignorance of the true teaching and character of Jesus.  When Jesus’ disciples said that his view of marriage was too challenging for them, Jesus gave them a way out, but it may not have been very appealing for anyone looking for a less demanding way.  Essentially he told them “Choose faithfulness in covenant marriage – or be a eunuch“.   A eunuch is not capable of sex.  By using this figure of speech, Jesus was saying that a disciple who has chosen not to marry has also chosen not to have sex.   It is indisputable that Jesus offered only two options for a disciple when it comes to sex and marriage — stay celibate, or enter a covenant marriage with the full intent to be sexually faithful to one partner for life.

But that’s not where it stops.  Jesus not only went far beyond the law of Moses in his understanding of holiness.  He also went far beyond the law of Moses in his demonstration of the mercy of God.   While teaching and modelling an unprecedented level of purity, at the same time he showed an unprecedented level of mercy on those who had broken the law.   So he went beyond the law both in terms of what he asked (purity of heart leading to purity of behaviour) and what he offered (limitless mercy and grace to those who had stumbled and recognized their need).   The well-loved story of the woman caught in adultery is a beautiful example of this.   He did not justify her actions, yet he totally dismantled the hypocritical attacks of her accusers, and invited her to make a new beginning based on God’s merciful kindness.  Yet in all of this he did not simply repudiate the law,  he moved beyond it in the sense of true fulfilment – just as adulthood is the fulfilment of childhood.  By his teaching, his example, his death on the cross, his resurrection in power and glory, and the outpouring of His Spirit, Jesus has moved us farther towards God’s ultimate purpose for us  than the law could take us, demonstrating for us both God’s indescribable holiness and His unfathomable mercy – the ultimate goal being the glory of God.   But in doing this he has not contradicted the law or declared it worthless, he has simply taken us to a whole new level.

Sometimes we are tempted to compromise on God’s standards to justify our own failure, because we realize how far we have fallen short of those standards.  I am very familiar with that mental process (as are all honest disciples who have had to wrestle with their weaknesses) but justifying our failures never leads us to freedom.  Yet the amazing truth of the gospel is that anyone who is in Christ is a new creation.   After becoming a Christian 23 years ago, I was introduced to a process of healing and restoration of heart and mind through the instrument of Biblically-informed, Spirit-led prayer ministry.  As God began to work deeply in both my wife and myself,  I realized how much cleansing, healing and restoring work He wanted to do in my life so that every aspect of my life (including my marriage) would more fully reflect His holy love.   There truly is restoration, hope and a new beginning available in Christ for anyone who has fallen short of God’s standard of sexual purity.  Our sexuality is so central to our identity in Christ that it is no wonder the Enemy has worked so hard to traffic in this area.   As the return of Christ draws near we can be sure that such attacks will increase, and we will be offered more and more enticements to trade purity for compromise.  My reason for addressing Biblical standards of holiness in such strong terms is not to condemn anyone, but to plead for a true understanding of the wonderful gift of purity that God desires to work in His people.  This purity is never an achievement in which we can take pride, it is always and only a gift of God’s grace which we can receive and allow Him to work in us as we humbly submit to His mercy, his truth and his restoring grace which has the power to make us new.   God’s people are called to be a pure Bride – that is what Jesus died for.  Let’s not allow the Enemy to deceive us into settling for anything less.